Copy for Downy Fabric Softener

It's 3pm, and I've had an ideal day. Ideal given the parameters of my current existence....it's not like I slept late, had sex, and ate eggs Benedict outside on a patio with a view, a mimosa and a great book. I woke up dreading the fact that there was no coffee thinking I had all 3 kids on my own, but my husband's leaving was not to go to work it was to go get coffee. His 9 am meeting was late, so we had a rare 20 minute window of family hanging out. I didn't nag him about taking out the trash, and he did it on his own, in time.

I got all teeth brushed including mine and against all odds, took all 3 of my children shopping at BJ's. They didn't have 1/2 and 1/2, so I got to buy cream instead. I remembered everything on my list, and my children sat in the cart and amused themselves with the garlic and broccoli. Last time they played with raw meat, cheesy puffs and cherry tomatoes. We left a trail of Botulism and cheesy gazpacho, and I kept losing Jack Peter. I'd find him sitting on the concrete in front of an infomercial surrounded by an ever-growing crowd of worried people who were wondering out loud why I don't let him watch TV at home.

Now 2 out of 3 are sleeping, and I can barely hear the howls of the one who isn't because she sleeps in our master bathroom which is far enough away from me. (Can you imagine the stories she'll tell her kids? I didn't have a bedroom; they stuck me next to the toilet...) I've recently discovered that the YMCA has free childcare so when they wake we'll all traipse over there, and I'll get a teeny tiny workout. Barring any unforeseen bad behavior, tonight is movie night, so my whole day could be a tantrum-less piece of cake.

On my way home from BJ's, I made a lunch/play date with an at-home dad, so he carried in all of my shopping while I made lunches. If I were my mom I would have unselfconsciously orchestrated that, but I didn't. It was actually a little intimate, letting someone take in the groceries. Big box shopping is already shameful, and it's not in bags, so it was all out there for him to see. I had organic milk but cheap meat. I get huge things of Starbuck's coffee; everyone hates them, but the beans are so good. In a rare moment of listening to my kids advice, I'd bought some prepared baby food and worse, little snack packs of pretzels, mandarin oranges and fruit cup. This is unlike me because:
1. I'm cheap
2. I hate excessive packaging
3. I'm not wild about high fructose corn syrup and all that other crap
4. I know my husband will eat most of them in front of the t.v. probably because he coveted his friends' lunch boxes when he was little.

Perhaps the most shameful item was the Downy fabric softener. I'm sure that stuff is horrible for the environment, but every time my kids go to their nanny's house, they come back smelling so...loved. I used to have a big, spoiled, sweaty 25-year-old guy working for me. His mom would pack his lunches and do his laundry. He'd be loading the kiln in 90 degree weather apologizing to me for smelling bad, but he always smelled like Downy. As I'm writing this I'm scrunching up my brow thinking, Do you want them to feel so loved that you're still doing their laundry and packing their lunches at 25? Maybe I'll give the Downy to nanny...